Circle of Positivity

1I have been doing a lot of reading and research on Happiness of late. Happy people are a resource I always recommend to participants of my workshops,  although it just struck me that not everyone might be purposeful about forming such connects. If you intend to be happy, there is an invaluable resource you must be purposeful about tapping into. It is, what I would refer to as a Circle of Positivity. This circle is really an imaginary circle surrounding you, at all times, acting like a shield when you need protection, like a source of strength when you feel weak and like a sponge when you feel overwhelmed with negative emotions of any kind. It is quite remarkable if we think about it this way but unfortunately, not all of us consider creating or rather, curating one for ourselves.

Many of us would have heard about the vibes we get from people, about auras, about negative and positive people, about energy vampires and various such constructs. Simply put, there are people who raise our energy levels and there are those who tend to deplete them. If we pay close attention, any one interaction is often enough for us to gauge the impact that a person might have on us. However, not many of us are purposeful about making time to spend with those people who enthuse us, energize us and fill us with positivity and hope.

Most times, we flow through the day, moving from one interaction to the next, from one task to the other and from one place that leads us to the next and so on. This is essentially, flowing through the day on a default mode. An alternate would be, a design mode, which is governed by an intention. While we do complete tasks and meet the people necessary for the same, we do ensure that we make time to interact with those to help us dip into the source of energy that, perhaps, all of us draw our energy from. It could be the sun, or the supernatural or anything else you might believe in – but there is, certainly, a source.

Surrounding ourselves with people who exude positivity and those who leave us with a sense of possibility and recharge us, is almost a life skill. If you are familiar with Buddhism you might have heard of the ten angels or you might be familiar with any other such similar concept which basically indicates that in times of distress, there are people around you who are there to pull you out of your situation. If you think about it, you already know who these people are in your life, They could be in your family, your friend circle, or even at work. What if we plan to include them in our lives everyday instead of reaching out to them and hoping they would be there when we are really down and out? Imagine how that might infuse us with positivity each day and might, in turn, enable us to be that source for someone else. I hope not having time is not the excuse you might be planning to cite for not being able to do this 🙂 You do know that not having time is the world’s favorite excuse!

So who forms your circle of positivity?

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When Plan B fails

quotefancy-106928-3840x2160People who know me might smile reading the title of this blogpost. I am known to be a planner and I almost always, have a plan. Sometimes, I also have a plan for when I cannot have a plan. I know it sounds absurd but here I am, like so many of you out there..who had a plan A that did not work. It happened again with me recently. I had a plan B, that did not work. While my unconscious mind kept working on Plan C and Plan D, I had a lot of trouble accepting what made my plans not work. Stephen Covey has talked about it one of my favorite books – The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. There are things in our life that are in our control and then, there are things in our life, which are not. The things that are not in our control, should they even be a part of our plans, in the first place? No easy answer, this one, but usually, these are the things that make my plans fail. No matter how much we might be able to anticipate something not working, what we might never be able to fully estimate, is HOW wrong something could go. HOW much delay can something cause? HOW bad can it be? HOW low will this person go? It surprises me HOW so many times, it is that HOW that I am unable to estimate. It might be attributed to my belief that people are in general, smart and out to do the right thing. What happens along the way, is sometimes, best left a mystery. What is important, however, is learning how to cope with these failures. Over the years, I have tried many strategies – from my early years of writing nasty emails to giving people a piece of my mind to talking to other people about how something or someone is so not worth it. However, none of these really have made any difference to my state of mind and in fact, have only added to my frustration levels. The only thing that has worked, each and every time, is to productively redirect my energy into something that is of value. When I was young, I used to sometimes wash utensils in the kitchen when I was very angry. Today, I run down the stairs from my 15th floor apartment and take a long, brisk walk. These are only good to dissipate the negative energies that are brewing inside. What works, finally, to get oneself back to a positive state of mind, is a lot of self talk. In coaching parlance, this is referred to as self-coaching. I often find myself reminding myself of the larger view of life, of how insignificant that one instance or interaction might be and how grateful I am for everything else that is going right. So what works, when all plans fail, is just your intention to make things work. Just keep that and see how things fall into place. They take time, but they make the wait much easier and less stressful. Have you experienced failures of your plans? What have you done in such cases? Share with me, I would love to know! P.S. I have written a blog after ages! I feel as if I had never taken a break. I was working on my book, which is finally done. I hope to write a blog about it soon 🙂