As we recover from the aftermath of the festivities around us and gear up to deal with more, it is perhaps, an opportune time for us to reflect on the feelings and emotions that we go through as we celebrate. Many of us find ourselves in a situation where we believe we have to attend a party, even though we know it is really not going to be fun. These might be parties at work or social gatherings with the relatives whom we don’t really connect with much at all. Let us dwell on these for a bit, keeping in mind my interpretation of the fundamental principle of life, which says that, in every situation, we have a choice. If we do decide that being somewhere would be an utter waste of our time and effort and we would rather spend time doing something else, perhaps it might be wiser to politely decline and to be done with it. What a great opportunity that opens up for us – we can plan to do something we have wanted to do for ages and get really creative with that time. Should we, however, lose the reasoning battle with ourselves and the people around us who matter, we might need to consider engaging in some self-talk. Back to the principle – we do have a choice. We can go to the party wallowing in self-pity, feeling a misfit and not end up happy (just like we had known and hence, planned) or, we can decide to have a great time even before we land up there. Visualization is a great tool in helping sportsmen gear up for victory and it does apply really well in day-to-day life too. Here’s how: Imagine that you will have a great time and start from there. Work your way backwards – to have a great time, what do I need to do? Look good, for sure. Go on, indulge yourself – get creative with what you wear. What about who I take along? Pick someone who will ensure you will have fun. You can always seek permission to bring a friend along – try it. Think about how you would want to engage with people, what would you want to talk about? Has there been something on your mind you want to know more about or is there something you are dying to tell someone? Is there someone you know who might be in the least bit interesting, whom you could consider talking to? And really, this does not imply planning for a flirtation but it could really just be a simple act of thoughtful networking. Find out more about what a couple of women whom you can connect with might be up to. Find out more about the recipes of the food you like. The point being – do whatever it takes – but make it a fun time for yourself. You can decide to have fun, even before you land up somewhere. Give it a shot! Cheers! This blogpost is a reproduction of my column ‘Her Point of You’ published in SHE section of The Goan (http://thegoan.net). If you are going through change or have been planning some kind of change in your life, coaching can help you. A coach works with you to help you move from point A to point B, ensuring that you hold yourself accountable for your progress. If you would like to know more about coaching and experience a trial coaching session, contact me via my website (http://growth-cube.com). Coaching works. Try it.
For those of us who pride in being able to handle so many things for so many people, in trying to be super beings, deep down inside, we do know that we have really not spent an adequate amount of time in making our ‘happiness’ a reality.
It is true that we believe others are important but it is also true that we cannot truly spread happiness if we are not happy ourselves. It does take courage to say ‘I am first for some time’ and that ‘I am my top most priority for now’.
Choose to define your happiness first. Create happiness for yourself first. Be happy first.