What’s your PQ?

BMPI have not really heard of this term earlier so let me assume that I just coined it (if you find this being used somewhere already, please do share more with me else please know that I have a copy right on this 🙂 – I discovered someone used PPQ or Professional Presence Quotient though that was a very limited construct).

PQ, is what I refer to as Presence Quotient (can you tell I graduated in Math?). So what is presence quotient? It is, in my mind a ratio of how present you really are, in any context to how present people perceive you to be.  Let’s take, for instance, your home. Remember the conversation with your mom when she wanted you to be there at some random relative’s house as she thought they would expect you there and want to meet you and you, for your life, could not figure out why you should waste your time being there? ‘But what will I do there?’ or ‘But I don’t even know them!’ or ‘But what will I say to them?’ – well, if you ended up being there, in all likelihood, your PQ was abysmally low. You pretended to be there, laugh and chitter chatter and put up an act, but we all know how you really wanted to not be there.

Another instance – your work. Remember when you were invited for that random meeting – in person or on telephone does not matter – you knew you had little or no context and really did not want to say no lest people form some unwanted opinions about you? You might have chosen to be a silent participant or just said something to register your presence. Well, your PQ was low again.

The question is, what is the PQ you want to establish? And is this really about a score? Do you really want to be there and listen and contribute or do you want to do something just because you believe you are expected to?

The thing to note is that people know. No matter how brilliant you might think you are in putting up an act, while people might not say it, they can feel presence.

I believe each of us have PQ sensors, in our unconscious minds. We keep gauging the PQ of others in various ways – only sometimes, we forget, that more than anything, what is needed is for us to be present in the moment.

So what do you want your PQ to be? Or is it just the denominator, how present people perceive you to be, that matters to you? And what is, in your mind, your target PQ value? Is it 1, perception = reality or is it infinite, where you define the limit?

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Do you believe in creating Isthmuses?

emotionallyconnected-300x225Sometimes I get the feeling we all live in our own respective islands and sometimes travel to other islands to meet people and then come back to our own island.Those of us who are in corporate jobs or jobs which keep us confined to a finite number of people (at least at work), are perhaps more likely to be on an island than many others as being in a corporate, you are not required to necessarily connect with different kinds of people from various walks of life (this is just my experience and opinion – you may, of course, have a different opinion 🙂 – I think this is true even if you are in Sales or Consulting as the kind of people we access is very pre-defined and limited and is restricted by design).

(In case you know this already, please ignore this – I have added this more for the benefit of those of us who may not be familiar with this word or might have forgotten it over the years – and it is perfectly ok to forget words we don’t use everyday 🙂 – an Isthmus is a narrow strip of land with sea on either side, forming a link between two larger areas of land).

The question is – are you one of those people who build an isthmus, or a part of it, every time you visit another island from your island or are you happy travelling from one island to the next and then back to your island, without thinking of the need to build an isthmus or a more long-lasting structure of some sort?

An isthmus to me, denotes a bridge, a mental bridge, an emotional bridge, which essentially is what a relationship is. Do we choose to invest our time and efforts in understanding people we meet and building relationships with them or do we just make social visits and come back happy to our isolated abode?

If you are a ‘social’ person, it may not neccesarily mean you are an isthmus. Being an isthmus is a choice. It comes with conscious effort. There is no right or wrong answer – it is just food for thought.

Have a great weekend!

My life designer

design-your-lifeOver the past years, I have often found myself wanting more – wanting to spend more time with some people, wanting to spend more time with myself, doing the things I have wanted to do and I have repeatedly denied myself those opportunities, with the convenient chart topper excuse – time!

Heard yourself saying this – ‘you know what – I would really love to..if only I had more time’? Here is the news – time stays – where it is – as much as there is. The only thing that can change is what we do with it.

The bulk of our life is spent sleeping, we spend loads of our time studying when we are young (for kids like me – I know some of the readers could be exceptions – and I think you have already got it, then!), we spend most time working when we are older – all the while, wanting to achieve something. So what did we achieve? A life which gets in the way of living everyday?

I looked at my life – I tried looking at various chunks – months, years, days – none of the chunks seemed appealing enough as some of the moments which had fit in by chance. The life that I was living everyday, did not seem as if it was designed by me or really anyone if you ask me! Was I really that bad at design? Or did I never think about designing it? Did I just live it by default all this while? Who was my life designer? My parents? My friends? Oh, I know – nobody! No wonder, then, here I am, with all these components floating around, the picture looking a bit awry, if you ask me.

So, well – here is what I am going to do. I am going to design my life. The way I want it to be. I am my life designer. What stops you from being yours again..did you use the chart topping excuse again? 🙂

No limit

2249f7c57114c43211487ed477cf5161Through my recent engagements with people outside of the corporate world, I bumped into a person who runs a school on parenting (Parwarish, based in India). He believes in creating no-limit children. What a way to think about people. Studying in the schools we did, working in the places we do, for some reason, we confine ourselves, our thinking, our actions to the limits defined by those institutions. We expect is how they start…and the limits start engulfing us even before we know it. Who expects that I do this or be that? If it is not me, then why should it matter in the first place? The only person who is allowed to set limits for myself, is me. The only person who often is the greatest limitation for me, when I have to think big and take risks, is also me. What would a no limit me be like? What would a no limit you be like? Choose to think no limit.